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Kink Shaming Definition

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Shame can be a difficult emotion to experience, and it does a very good job at getting in the way between you and your authentic self. While shame is often used interchangeably with guilt, guilt refers specifically to negative emotions about something bad that we did, while shame refers to feeling bad about who we are. Addressing and putting a name on something helps take away the power shame has over you. While it may feel shameful at first to think of yourself as a kinky person, repression is what what tends to increase problems, where people bury and ignore their healthy sexual desires.

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This does not mean that unethical behavior is tolerated. Here are some tips for handling when kink-shaming happens to you:.

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Engage in an activity that feels both calming and reassuring to you. Dealing with Kink Shaming. Kink-shaming can take on any of forms, but some common behaviors include:. Often, kink-shaming takes the form of comments based on false assumptions about a specific type of play e.

Example: How can you live with yourself if you enjoy hurting other people? Kinds of Kinksters Being Kinky. This shame could either come from a loved one, or it could come from within the person themselves.

What is kink shaming and why should we care about it?

Practice self care. This ifies that they respect the right of every human being to act on their kinks or fetishes with themselves or with other consenting adults.

Likewise, not all disagreements are kink-shaming. Examples might include directing them to educational resources or asking them to listen to how their statements affected you and why. Odds are that almost every kinkster has experienced something similar.

What is kink shaming?

If you want to, attempt to educate. May 17 Written By K M. What is kink-shaming?

Why is kink-shaming a bad thing? For additional reading, we recommend our article, Overcoming the Shame of Being Kinky. Refusal to listen to or attempt to understand differing opinions regarding a given kink or fetish.

Kink-shaming can take on any of forms, but some common behaviors include: A value judgement placed on the kink or fetish itself, or on you for being into it. Because of this, when we find ourselves attracted to things that are not normal, shame occurs. What are some examples of kink-shaming?

As a result, the vast majority of kinksters have experienced some form of kink-shaming during their lives. Below, we break down this concept and provide some tips on how to handle it when it happens to you.

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Talk about the experience. By definition, kink is something outside of the social norm. Speak up. No one likes to be shamed for anything, especially not something as deeply personal and complex as a kink or fetish. Accusing you of perpetuating a social injustice racism, sexism, etc. Talking with a fellow kinkster you know and trust can help you to process the experience and move on.

A value judgement placed on the kink or fetish itself, or on you for being into it. Here are some tips for handling when kink-shaming happens to you: Speak up.

Only if you feel that it would prove useful should you attempt to try and educate the individual who shamed you.